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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to respect her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?